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Stress Management and the Art of Being Present
Stress can only occur when we are either focused on the past or the future.
Stress cannot exist when we are fully present in the now. The challenge many of us
experience is that we find it difficult to control our minds from wandering into the
past or future and consequently our strategies of stress management take a turn for the worse.
In improving your stress management training you need to appreciate that the mind is
such a powerful tool; it determines the way you see the world. Your current view of
yourself and your life is formed by the way your mind thinks about them and, in doing
so, creates your reality. It also does something else that can cause feelings of stress.
It projects thoughts into the future and can paint a negative picture about the way a
situation may unfold. This is called negative mind projection.
The mind often does this when it’s concerned about a particular situation that has yet to
occur. It tries to gain control of this future situation by hypothesising various outcomes
of the way it believes it may play out and in doing so derails our stress management skills.
Here’s an example:
Imagine you have been asked to make a short presentation at your end of year staff party.
This is a function that everyone in the company attends and something people look forward to.
It’s also a wonderful opportunity to get to know the senior executives in a more casual manner.
Later on you start to think about your presentation. Your mind starts to churn out countless
thoughts about it. You start to second guess your abilities to present in front of everyone
and start to think about what would happen if it didn’t go well. Before you know it you’ve
played out the whole evening in your mind and breakout in a cold sweat just thinking about
all the potentially disastrous scenarios that could occur.
This negative mind projection is what often causes feelings of stress and blocks our ability
for effective stress management training. When you perceive a future event to be potentially threatening
or unpleasant, you allow stress the opportunity to enter your body. So why do we negative mind
project in the first place? What benefit does it give us?
The answer is interesting. The ego, which takes responsibility for our feelings of adequacy and
worth, makes a promise. It promises that it will look after our self-esteem and protect us from
anything that may compromise it. It does so by creating the feeling that we are in control of our
lives. As a result, it prepares us for what could happen in the future by presenting the worst
case scenario for any future events. What better way to protect the ego than by pointing out all
the potentially threatening or embarrassing possibilities?
This is how the ego tricks us, by creating the illusion that it will protect and prepare us for
these future scenarios. It makes us believe that it’s a valuable stress management exercise. The
reality is that all it offers is a vague hypothesis of what may or may not happen. By practising good
stress management skill, we create a habit of being present.
Negative mind projection creates feelings of stress when you feel the pain of a future event going
wrong as if it is actually happening to you in the present. You live your future experience as if
it was fast tracked into your present moment. This is the ego’s attempt assist us in stress management skills
by bringing some kind of control to an unknown event in our future.
The consequence of negative mind projection is that it destroys the quality of the present moment and
replaces it with anxiety and stress. So what can you do to improve your stress management training by preventing
your mind from projecting in this way?
As we’ve already discussed, if you leave your mind alone without a particular focus it will often default
to thinking negatively. In order for you to master your mind and control your stress management you need
to instruct it otherwise. If you let it default you take the risk of allowing these thoughts to control you.
In mastering your mind you need to tell it how you want it to serve you. It can’t be your servant if you allow
it to use negative mind projection. Remember, you don’t have a crystal ball to see into the future and it’s not
possible to know for certain how every future situation will unfold. Don’t waste your thoughts wondering and
predicting the unknown. Time is better spent setting goals, desires and intentions rather than worrying about
whether they’ll actually happen.
The stress management training approach that will help, is that as soon as you become aware that you are feeling stressed
about future situations, use your mind to skilfully focus your thoughts on how you would like the situation to
turn out. Think about it optimistically and bring your attention back to your actions in the present moment.
Inevitably, your mind will keep projecting your thoughts into the future, so keep them focused on a positive outcome.
Be mindful that the only thing that is real is the present moment. The past is history and the future is unknown.
When your focus is maintained on your present actions the feeling of stress will minimised, and your stress management skills
will strengthen.
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